Last Sunday I was trying to feel the spirit, because sometimes it’s hard when we’re not attending church and Sunday doesn’t feel much different from the rest of the week. I sat down to play hymns and flipped to the song “I’ll go where you want me to go” and laughed at the title – because I’m not really going anywhere right now. But then I read the first verse:
It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine
I’ll go where you want me to go
And I thought – where does he want me to go? Where does He have need of me? There are several young adults in our ward who have received their mission calls and know exactly where the Lord wants them to go – be it to the mountain heights, or over the stormy sea – but just because I have not received a personal email or letter telling me where to go, that does not mean I have not been called. Rather the opposite. Have I asked the Lord where he wants me to go? Have I listened for the still small voice that calls me to paths I do not know?
The song continues:
Perhaps today there are loving words
Which Jesus would have me speak
There may be now in the paths of sin
Some wanderer whom I should seek
O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide
Tho dark and rugged the way
My voice shall echo the message sweet
I’ll say what you want me to say.
I don’t have to travel to go and do – there are people right here that I can reach out to, and that I can serve. There are loving words that I can say. There are many people in our neighborhood who have reached out to me, and to my family. To check on us, to include us, and to let us know that we are loved. Earlier this week a primary teacher came by to drop off a spiritual activity for one of my children, and then as they were leaving, she noticed my neighbor, who is new-ish, out front and stopped to introduce herself and make sure that they knew about attending church on Sunday. And I thought – they have gone where the Lord wanted them to go, and said what the Lord wanted them to say
But it is the last verse that struck me most.
There’s surely somewhere a lowly place
In earth’s harvest fields so wide
Where I may labor through life’s short day
For Jesus, the Crucified
So trusting my all to thy tender care
And knowing thou lovest me
I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere
I’ll be what you want me to be
This has not been a spiritual quarantine for me. It has not been a bad quarantine, just not very spiritual. I have 5 wonderful children, ages 4 to 13, that get along well with each other, and all being stuck together has not been a hardship – indeed, I think it has strengthened our family in many ways. But, it does mean that their mother, who is managing the 5 children, is having a little bit of burnout when it comes to encouraging and following through with spiritual pursuits for the family and for myself. I have unfortunately found myself making too many excuses about why scripture study, prayer, and things like that didn’t get done during the day. And I have also found my focus turning inward instead of outward toward those around me.
So I felt like this song was speaking to me – encouraging me to be better – in a very loving way. Reminding me that I can serve others and re-dedicate myself to my scripture study and spiritual growth. I can pray, and listen for the still small voice, and answer, dear Lord, with my hand in His. There are loving words which I can speak, or a wanderer I can reach out to. And trusting my all to His tender care and knowing He lovest me, I can do His will with a heart sincere, and be what He wants me to be.
I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, Over mountain or plain or sea. I’ll say what you want me to say, dear Lord. I’ll be what you want me to be.
Sister Cathy Larsen